A big question after discovering my husband’s affair was, “How do you cheat on someone that you love”? How do you cheat on them, lie continuously and deceive them, hurt them, break your vows, and even look them in the eyes while doing it? In this post, I will review several reasons how people can…
It’s crazy to look back 5 years now and think of how bad the triggers from my husband’s affair were. I would do anything to escape the feelings that they caused. For me, it was pure rage. 0 to 100. RED. All I could see was red, and the feelings of fight or flight. The…
I was betrayed not only by my husband but also by my friend. To have to work through two betrayals is the hardest thing I have ever been through. You sat with me on my couch while lusting after my husband. When I left for work, you came over. You even slept in my bed…
Last Sunday at church, my pastor was discussing the topic of unforgiveness and the dangers of how it affects us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Of course, my first thought went right to forgiving infidelity. Unforgiveness is a cancer. It eats away at us day by day. We think we are benefiting ourselves by not forgiving…
You know how the saying goes, “If only I knew then what I know now.” I often wonder if knowing the warning signs of where and how affairs begin and develop would have protected and saved my marriage from an affair. Would my husband have been equipped to fight his impulses? Would he have talked…
James 1:15 tells us, “After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” Let’s face it. We live in a highly sensual and lust-driven world! A world filled with intense sexual desire and the need for immediate gratification. A strong and even excessive craving for some…
It takes a long time to forgive. This blog post will cover 3 of the best books on forgiveness after infidelity. Forgiveness is one of the most challenging emotions to deal with, navigate, and process. I had to purposely go out of my way in search of this whole idea of letting go of all…
What are boundaries? Simply put. A boundary is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Period. We set boundaries in marriage to protect ourselves and our relationships. Every relationship can have a different set of boundaries. Before an affair occurs, most people, including myself, don’t even know what a boundary is, let alone how to set…
Hope for a better tomorrow lightens the burden of today. Never stop believing. Tomorrow will be better than today. – Olufunke Kolapo Yesterday marked 5 years since I found out my husband was having an affair. It’s crazy because while it can still feel like yesterday, it also feels like it was a lifetime ago. I…
Do you want to heal and rebuild your marriage? Do you want to show that you can respect your wife and still love her? Rebuilding love after an affair is a difficult journey. But not an impossible one. It requires commitment, vulnerability, and an unwavering desire to repair the damage. This blog post will explore…
When faced with the aftermath of an affair, you may find yourself at a crossroads of whether to stay or leave. It’s during these moments that asking questions can be a way to guide you in whether or not you can rebuild trust with your partner. I remember having hundreds of questions for my spouse…
Infidelity is a topic that has troubled relationships for centuries, leaving deep scars and shattered trust in its aftermath. When a partner cheats, it can be devastating, and the question of whether a cheater can truly change often arises. Can someone who has betrayed their partner’s trust transform and become a better person? In this…
After discovering my husband’s affair, we immediately attended a counseling session with our therapist. I recall our counselor saying it was as if he wasn’t remorseful at all. He didn’t even seem to feel guilty or realize the extent of the damage and hurt he had caused. At the time I wasn’t aware of affair fog…
Prayer can be significant in marriage restoration as it can help a couple build strength and give guidance from God during a very emotional time in life. In this article, I will provide 3 prayers for marriage restoration. As Christians, we need prayer in our lives. It shows our faith and helps improve our relationship…
When I found out about my husband’s affair, I was trying to process how and why he would even do this. All I could think about was the horrific details. I was heartbroken. Every morning I would wake up with intense emotions and find myself flooded with thoughts, my mind racing, and so many unanswered…
Finding out your spouse has cheated can be one of the most devasting things that will ever happen in your life. It leads to intense emotional breakdown and a tremendous amount of distrust in a marriage. It takes time to heal from such a traumatic experience. However, forgiveness is a powerful tool in the healing…
Experiencing infidelity in a marriage can be incredibly difficult. Some days it’s hard to muster the energy just to get out of bed. It’s a critical time for the affected partner to nurture themselves and implement self-care for healing after betrayal. When you practice self-care strategies, it can help you cope. Infidelity affects every part…
Did you know that your marriage can find healing after an affair? The answer is YES, IT CAN! My husband and I are a walking testimony of that. Five years later, and by hard work and the grace of God, I can say we are still standing. The love we have for each other is…